Saturday saw the mighty Bec Bs continue their 100% start to the season in a feisty encounter with Southern Athletic. The turf in the back streets of Tooting Broadway was bobblier than Scriv’s face when he misses his skincare routine, presenting the lads with a challenge that we may not have overcome in previous seasons. The Bec were dangerous from the off, with threaded balls in behind from Norman and Stoney causing Southern Athletic issues. A guilt edge chance came our way when MOM Toby Geaar skinned a fullback and dug out a cross to the back post to Norman, who powered a header at goal only for the oppo keeper to make a strong save. We slightly dropped off before half time, with some dogged defending and snapping challenges required to get to HT at 0-0.

Rudy… in waistcoat and all… suddenly turned into Gareth Southgate, inspiring his team to an England WC 2018 style performance in the second half. LJ took up the role of Harry Kane, Carlo took up the role of Raheem Sterling and, as you will read on to find out, Petch took up the role of Harry Maguire…

The Bec gained the lead when a beautiful delivery from a corner was elegantly boshed in by Stoney. 1-0. This lifted the performance of everyone, as pressure mounted and we looked for a second. Another set piece from Luke, which actually was a pretty poor delivery, was kindly headed in by a Southern Athletic defender… definitely an OG. 2-0 and the game was under control, with the Bec still pushing for more. It was at this point that Cam thought he would show off the newest trick in his skill set which had the crowd on their feet… the “handball it and kick it straight out of play”… outrageous flair. After everyone had composed themselves, we got a third to kill the game off with Stoney (the destroyer) getting his noggin on another corner, giving us a commanding lead.

The defence was still being tested by the Southern Athletic lads, and the clean sheet was in real danger when Petch snapped a man’s ankle in the box, giving away a penalty kick. If you ask Petch, he will still claim he got the ball after “a tiny bit” of the man. Luckily, Juan (taking the title of “Safest Hands in South London” off of Rudy) stepped up with some quality shithousery and a big save to preserve our clean sheet. 3-0 the final score and a great win for the lads. A clean sheet, some set piece prowess and three points to take us top of the league!

MOM - Toby Geaar - absolutely excellent in defence and attack. Aggressive from the off and provided some very good moments in the final third.

DOD - Cam Maskell - a shot that entered the outer atmosphere and the hand ball. Can chin a quick pint though…